Mastering communication skills will help you convey messages and handle daily issues effectively. When you express your thoughts and emotions clearly, you can find better solutions in challenging situations. Let’s explore 5 tips with FreezyDG to help you communicate more confidently and skillfully!
1. Put away your phone and other distractions.
The University of British Columbia (Canada) conducted a survey of 300 people about their phone usage habits during meals for a study. Some participants were asked to keep their phones on silent mode and put them away in their pockets throughout the meal, while others were allowed to place their phones on the table. The results showed that those who kept their phones on the table or in normal mode were frequently distracted. They felt a certain urge that tempted them to constantly check their phones, making the conversation less engaging.
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In reality, even limited phone usage during gatherings can still affect the quality of conversations, gradually leading to strained relationships. For instance, during a family meal, if one member frequently uses their phone and checks messages, it can make others feel neglected and dampen the mood. On the other hand, actively listening during a conversation demonstrates that you value the person in front of you and care about what they are saying. This action not only leaves a positive impression on others but also helps you practice active listening, thereby improving the quality of the conversation.
2. Active listening
The Greeks have a saying: “God gave us one tongue, but two ears so that we may listen more than we speak.” Listening is one of the essential communication skills everyone needs to cultivate to deeply understand and connect with others, thereby improving and strengthening relationships.
In fact, research on The Learning Pyramid by Edgar Dale, an American educator, reveals that an average person can only retain about 25% to 50% of what they hear. For example, in a 10-minute conversation, we typically remember less than half of what was discussed. Therefore, sometimes just “listening” isn’t enough—we need to learn how to listen more actively.
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Active listening is the practice of listening with focus and intention, showing that you are not merely hearing the other person but also making an effort to understand the meaning, emotions, and message they wish to convey. You can even engage in this process by asking for clarification or elaboration on points you don’t fully understand, which deepens the active listening experience.
During communication, active listening prioritizes and dedicates full attention to the person speaking. This makes them feel more at ease when sharing, allowing both parties to achieve mutual understanding and communication goals. Ultimately, it helps build strong, healthy, and lasting relationships.
3. Respond to what you hear
To listen actively, the listener needs to focus on fully absorbing information and understanding the speaker’s ideas. For example, in an internal meeting, you can take notes of what your boss says so you can get an overview of the issue and actively confirm when necessary. You can start with questions like: “In the previous sentence, did you mean…” or “I understand that in this situation, you are trying to say…”. Because when you ask the other person a question, you need to provide a clear context to remind the speaker and show that you are paying attention to what they are conveying. Musician and podcast host Hrishikesh Hirway once shared that connecting another person’s story to your own experience is a clever way to create resonance in communication: “I will mention a similar memory of myself when listening to the other person’s story, to show that I am really listening.” This approach not only creates interaction, but also helps both parties easily empathize and connect through common emotional points.
Image: Unsplash/Olga Prudnikova
4. Eye contact
According to science, eye contact is crucial in fostering empathy and connection between people because it activates the limbic mirror system—a specialized neural network in the brain that helps us mirror and understand the emotions and actions of others.
When we see someone perform an action or express an emotion, a part of our brain activates corresponding neurons, causing us to feel similar emotions. This means that when you look into their eyes, if they are expressing joy, your brain will sense that joy, and vice versa. This process helps you form a deeper connection with others and enhances empathy.
Image: Unsplash/Mehran Biabani
However, eye contact can vary depending on the individual, culture, and context. Understanding this is an important skill to develop. For example, before a conversation begins, you should make eye contact with the person in front of you rather than looking away or focusing on another object. Maintain eye contact for 4 to 5 seconds, then gradually look away for a moment before re-establishing it.
During a conversation, you can try applying the 50/70 rule. According to this technique, while listening, you should maintain eye contact about 70% of the time to show attention and respect to the speaker. Conversely, when speaking, maintaining eye contact for around 50% of the time helps you appear natural and avoids making the other person feel pressured. This approach fosters an open and comfortable atmosphere for interaction.
5. Pay attention to your posture and facial expressions
Did you know that body language can play an equally important role as words in conveying messages during communication? Posture and facial expressions are essential elements in creating a successful conversation. For instance, sitting upright with a slight lean toward the speaker often demonstrates interest and respect for the discussion. On the other hand, if someone leans back or turns away during a conversation, the other person may feel that they are not paying attention or are uninterested in continuing the dialogue.
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The underlying reason for this lies in humanity’s inherently social nature, where connection is often established not only through words but also through nonverbal cues. These signals help us better understand others’ emotions and intentions, making it easier to build relationships and foster an open communication environment. As a result, people with positive expressions during interactions tend to receive more favorable responses.
A prime example of this is in job interviews. Candidates who exhibit confident postures, bright facial expressions, and maintain eye contact often leave a stronger impression on interviewers. They are usually rated higher not only for their professional skills but also for their ability to integrate and work well in a team. This highlights the fact that in the workplace or any setting, our attitude and communication style can significantly influence how we build relationships with those around us.